Julian was one of the nicest people I have ever known. With a heart of gold and a great since of humor, it was always a pleasure to talk with him. With a smile that would light up a room and a laugh that would get everyone going, he was such a great person to be around. I am very thankful to have known him and will always keep him close to my heart.
Julian's sister wrote:
This is my brother's new home.. where he will forever lay. I cannot describe what I feel everytime I look at the picture of him on his headstone... it's surreal... extremely unbelievable... something like a bad dream that I cannot wake up out of. I go there every Friday morning to replace last week's flowers.. the yellow ones that I promised to take him just 2 days before his parting. Why yellow? It symbolizes the yellow cancer band that he wore on his wrist since his diagnosis. Along with them are two red flowers... in Evan & Kyle's names because that's the color they chose.
During one of his final days at Providence St. Joseph Hospital, I wondered why he, being a chicken s&$% by nature (as far as I could remember, he cried at the sight of others crying), he had not shed one single tear. When I asked him, he told me that he didn't know why & that he was tired.
Two days before he died & was falling into a coma that was draining him of what little energy he had left, I placed my head next to his on his pillow & just talked. I told him things that he may have wanted to hear; "If you need to rest, go ahead & rest. Don't think for one minute that any of us are mad at you. Don't feel as if you've let us down. You've been nothing but strong during this whole thing. You don't have to worry about anything. Evan & Kyle are well taken care of by Danielle & her husband Eric. As far as Lucy & Anthony, I promise you that I will take care of them as best as I could, which is the same way that you have & would continue doing." Then I cried a bit. After a few minutes, I told him I wanted to give him a hug & if it was o.k. for me to hug him. Knowing I would get no verbal response, I told him to stick out his tongue if he wanted a hug. He wiggled his tongue inside his mouth. Keep in mind that he could no longer so move freely. I then placed my left arm under his head & hugged him with my right arm. Within a few seconds he must have borrowed some of GOD's energy because he gave me THE TIGHTEST HUG EVER. Not only did have enough strength to put both arms around me and squeeze, but also to turn his head & place his last kiss on my right cheek. He finally let go after a good 3 minutes. About half an hour later, while my mom was standing on one side of his bed & myself at the other, we (mom & I) both noticed that he was trying to get our attention by covering his left eye (which is the side I was standing on). I looked at him and asked if he wanted to tell me something. When he removed his hand from his eye, I realized that he wanted to give me his 'going away' gift. My brother had ONE SINGLE TEAR trickling down the side of his face. My brother shed a tear for me, J.C. That's the biggest & most meaningful gift he could have ever given me. My reaction was this: "YES!!! That's all I wanted. Finally! That's all I wanted to see!". I leaned over once again & said this: "You are my hero. You've been strong. Through chemo & the pain... emotional & physical". The tear I was wondering about. He saved it only for me. That was the day he let me know things were going to be o.k. The fact that he let me know that he heard & understood the things I said to him left me with a sense of relief.
Now he's gone. I thought the hardest thing about losing a loved one was the burial.. seeing them get buried. I was wrong. The hardest is now... as the days go by, it hurts me so much to know & have to accept the fact that I will never ever ever in my whole entire life see my only brother again.
.... friendship often ends in love, but love in friendship never....
Julian's sister wrote:
This is my brother's new home.. where he will forever lay. I cannot describe what I feel everytime I look at the picture of him on his headstone... it's surreal... extremely unbelievable... something like a bad dream that I cannot wake up out of. I go there every Friday morning to replace last week's flowers.. the yellow ones that I promised to take him just 2 days before his parting. Why yellow? It symbolizes the yellow cancer band that he wore on his wrist since his diagnosis. Along with them are two red flowers... in Evan & Kyle's names because that's the color they chose.
During one of his final days at Providence St. Joseph Hospital, I wondered why he, being a chicken s&$% by nature (as far as I could remember, he cried at the sight of others crying), he had not shed one single tear. When I asked him, he told me that he didn't know why & that he was tired.
Two days before he died & was falling into a coma that was draining him of what little energy he had left, I placed my head next to his on his pillow & just talked. I told him things that he may have wanted to hear; "If you need to rest, go ahead & rest. Don't think for one minute that any of us are mad at you. Don't feel as if you've let us down. You've been nothing but strong during this whole thing. You don't have to worry about anything. Evan & Kyle are well taken care of by Danielle & her husband Eric. As far as Lucy & Anthony, I promise you that I will take care of them as best as I could, which is the same way that you have & would continue doing." Then I cried a bit. After a few minutes, I told him I wanted to give him a hug & if it was o.k. for me to hug him. Knowing I would get no verbal response, I told him to stick out his tongue if he wanted a hug. He wiggled his tongue inside his mouth. Keep in mind that he could no longer so move freely. I then placed my left arm under his head & hugged him with my right arm. Within a few seconds he must have borrowed some of GOD's energy because he gave me THE TIGHTEST HUG EVER. Not only did have enough strength to put both arms around me and squeeze, but also to turn his head & place his last kiss on my right cheek. He finally let go after a good 3 minutes. About half an hour later, while my mom was standing on one side of his bed & myself at the other, we (mom & I) both noticed that he was trying to get our attention by covering his left eye (which is the side I was standing on). I looked at him and asked if he wanted to tell me something. When he removed his hand from his eye, I realized that he wanted to give me his 'going away' gift. My brother had ONE SINGLE TEAR trickling down the side of his face. My brother shed a tear for me, J.C. That's the biggest & most meaningful gift he could have ever given me. My reaction was this: "YES!!! That's all I wanted. Finally! That's all I wanted to see!". I leaned over once again & said this: "You are my hero. You've been strong. Through chemo & the pain... emotional & physical". The tear I was wondering about. He saved it only for me. That was the day he let me know things were going to be o.k. The fact that he let me know that he heard & understood the things I said to him left me with a sense of relief.
Now he's gone. I thought the hardest thing about losing a loved one was the burial.. seeing them get buried. I was wrong. The hardest is now... as the days go by, it hurts me so much to know & have to accept the fact that I will never ever ever in my whole entire life see my only brother again.
.... friendship often ends in love, but love in friendship never....
Julian was one of the nicest people I have ever known. With a heart of gold and a great since of humor, it was always a pleasure to talk with him. With a smile that would light up a room and a laugh that would get everyone going, he was such a great person to be around. I am very thankful to have known him and will always keep him close to my heart.
Julian's sister wrote:
This is my brother's new home.. where he will forever lay. I cannot describe what I feel everytime I look at the picture of him on his headstone... it's surreal... extremely unbelievable... something like a bad dream that I cannot wake up out of. I go there every Friday morning to replace last week's flowers.. the yellow ones that I promised to take him just 2 days before his parting. Why yellow? It symbolizes the yellow cancer band that he wore on his wrist since his diagnosis. Along with them are two red flowers... in Evan & Kyle's names because that's the color they chose.
During one of his final days at Providence St. Joseph Hospital, I wondered why he, being a chicken s&$% by nature (as far as I could remember, he cried at the sight of others crying), he had not shed one single tear. When I asked him, he told me that he didn't know why & that he was tired.
Two days before he died & was falling into a coma that was draining him of what little energy he had left, I placed my head next to his on his pillow & just talked. I told him things that he may have wanted to hear; "If you need to rest, go ahead & rest. Don't think for one minute that any of us are mad at you. Don't feel as if you've let us down. You've been nothing but strong during this whole thing. You don't have to worry about anything. Evan & Kyle are well taken care of by Danielle & her husband Eric. As far as Lucy & Anthony, I promise you that I will take care of them as best as I could, which is the same way that you have & would continue doing." Then I cried a bit. After a few minutes, I told him I wanted to give him a hug & if it was o.k. for me to hug him. Knowing I would get no verbal response, I told him to stick out his tongue if he wanted a hug. He wiggled his tongue inside his mouth. Keep in mind that he could no longer so move freely. I then placed my left arm under his head & hugged him with my right arm. Within a few seconds he must have borrowed some of GOD's energy because he gave me THE TIGHTEST HUG EVER. Not only did have enough strength to put both arms around me and squeeze, but also to turn his head & place his last kiss on my right cheek. He finally let go after a good 3 minutes. About half an hour later, while my mom was standing on one side of his bed & myself at the other, we (mom & I) both noticed that he was trying to get our attention by covering his left eye (which is the side I was standing on). I looked at him and asked if he wanted to tell me something. When he removed his hand from his eye, I realized that he wanted to give me his 'going away' gift. My brother had ONE SINGLE TEAR trickling down the side of his face. My brother shed a tear for me, J.C. That's the biggest & most meaningful gift he could have ever given me. My reaction was this: "YES!!! That's all I wanted. Finally! That's all I wanted to see!". I leaned over once again & said this: "You are my hero. You've been strong. Through chemo & the pain... emotional & physical". The tear I was wondering about. He saved it only for me. That was the day he let me know things were going to be o.k. The fact that he let me know that he heard & understood the things I said to him left me with a sense of relief.
Now he's gone. I thought the hardest thing about losing a loved one was the burial.. seeing them get buried. I was wrong. The hardest is now... as the days go by, it hurts me so much to know & have to accept the fact that I will never ever ever in my whole entire life see my only brother again.
.... friendship often ends in love, but love in friendship never....
Julian's sister wrote:
This is my brother's new home.. where he will forever lay. I cannot describe what I feel everytime I look at the picture of him on his headstone... it's surreal... extremely unbelievable... something like a bad dream that I cannot wake up out of. I go there every Friday morning to replace last week's flowers.. the yellow ones that I promised to take him just 2 days before his parting. Why yellow? It symbolizes the yellow cancer band that he wore on his wrist since his diagnosis. Along with them are two red flowers... in Evan & Kyle's names because that's the color they chose.
During one of his final days at Providence St. Joseph Hospital, I wondered why he, being a chicken s&$% by nature (as far as I could remember, he cried at the sight of others crying), he had not shed one single tear. When I asked him, he told me that he didn't know why & that he was tired.
Two days before he died & was falling into a coma that was draining him of what little energy he had left, I placed my head next to his on his pillow & just talked. I told him things that he may have wanted to hear; "If you need to rest, go ahead & rest. Don't think for one minute that any of us are mad at you. Don't feel as if you've let us down. You've been nothing but strong during this whole thing. You don't have to worry about anything. Evan & Kyle are well taken care of by Danielle & her husband Eric. As far as Lucy & Anthony, I promise you that I will take care of them as best as I could, which is the same way that you have & would continue doing." Then I cried a bit. After a few minutes, I told him I wanted to give him a hug & if it was o.k. for me to hug him. Knowing I would get no verbal response, I told him to stick out his tongue if he wanted a hug. He wiggled his tongue inside his mouth. Keep in mind that he could no longer so move freely. I then placed my left arm under his head & hugged him with my right arm. Within a few seconds he must have borrowed some of GOD's energy because he gave me THE TIGHTEST HUG EVER. Not only did have enough strength to put both arms around me and squeeze, but also to turn his head & place his last kiss on my right cheek. He finally let go after a good 3 minutes. About half an hour later, while my mom was standing on one side of his bed & myself at the other, we (mom & I) both noticed that he was trying to get our attention by covering his left eye (which is the side I was standing on). I looked at him and asked if he wanted to tell me something. When he removed his hand from his eye, I realized that he wanted to give me his 'going away' gift. My brother had ONE SINGLE TEAR trickling down the side of his face. My brother shed a tear for me, J.C. That's the biggest & most meaningful gift he could have ever given me. My reaction was this: "YES!!! That's all I wanted. Finally! That's all I wanted to see!". I leaned over once again & said this: "You are my hero. You've been strong. Through chemo & the pain... emotional & physical". The tear I was wondering about. He saved it only for me. That was the day he let me know things were going to be o.k. The fact that he let me know that he heard & understood the things I said to him left me with a sense of relief.
Now he's gone. I thought the hardest thing about losing a loved one was the burial.. seeing them get buried. I was wrong. The hardest is now... as the days go by, it hurts me so much to know & have to accept the fact that I will never ever ever in my whole entire life see my only brother again.
.... friendship often ends in love, but love in friendship never....
Family Members
Parents
Children
